Бисерите на Chemosavi

No, sorry. Old news. Been kiting since Egyptian times around 20 reincarnations ago. Prayfa-brains didn’t like it, however. Thought I was lying and taking advantage of a sincere request for information. Guess he just doesn’t like the truth, however hard it may be to swallow. „He that shall ignore the words of sacrament I speak shall be thrown into the eternal pits of hell.“

„Started kiting in around 1345 BC because I had the hots for Inyotef’s wife and wanted to impress her with my snagly assed rotations and whoopy wheels (it was a hot trick in those days). I used some goatskin for a sail and this piece of stone with about ten word wraps of gibberish on it for a board. My uncle Abraham said he snagged it off of a guy named Moses.

It all got a little out of hand one day when I was more or less mowing the lawn in some light winds when all of a sudden the sea parted and I found myself falling into an abyss, the bottom of which was filled with a bunch of running Jews. Moses cried out, „you get what you deserve for stealing my board“…. Go figure. .

Nifty analog, stupendous in fact, KUDOS! although perhaps veering toward towards the edge of the imagination of some of the members of this forum.

„Education is a bitch but somebody’s got to do it.“

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I’m over 90 and sort of elderly and self taught. Teaching myself was no bed of roses, constantly yelling at myself, kicking myself in what’s left of my nuts for how stupid I was. Falling face forward into the salt chuck and getting a nose full seemed to be a constant self punishment. No patience at all. Now that I’ve passed that stage I look back with not so fond memories of how cruel a teacher I could be at times and how bloody ignorant a student I was. But it taught me patience so now when I try new stuff as I enter the golden years I’m more ready for the horrible crap that is about to befall me. Like spilling my eazy-pee sack all over the place when trying to fallow the instructions.
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Thouest knoweth not of a kite unleashed, that ye shal perceiveth to be unholy, if ye shall bless thy waters below, ye shall be stoked, and ready to rip, but ye shall also be bethroned to thy holy abyss. Not yet, do not let the one passeth without thy grace into the land of RICKL and be yet another Knotch on the crosseth.

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Too many deaths caused by tethering yourself to a minimally controllable object capable of generating extreme amounts of force. With the added component of the wind being another unpredictable force. Not so unbelievable really. Add to that the unpredictability of human nature. Whachew think that can…
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Reminds me of the time I fell asleep in the back of my buds pickup on the interstate during rush hour after a heavy duty happy hour and inadvertently rolled off the back end into the oncoming traffic. Like a herd a wild buffalo did they descend upon me.

Soccer moms and wanna-be-home now commuters ignored me like I was a brown stain on the side of the toilet bowl.

Many was the time I cursed their failure to offer the kind hand of help in my subsequent two year hospital rehabilitation. Lesson learned…My karma’s like a horney-toad on a hot mexican highway in the middle of a gone-bad drug run.Reminds me of the time I fell asleep in the back of my buds pickup on the interstate during rush hour after a heavy duty happy hour and inadvertently rolled off the back end into the oncoming traffic. Like a herd a wild buffalo did they descend upon me.
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Now I aien’t no sci-en-tist er nothing you see but I was out with my cow bessie one fine day wen she let a plume of air out-a her backsides the vertex a which blew the snot rag clears out ma back pocket.

Now I’s a dern sure if a hair-craft can make one-a them vertexs like my Bessie can it sure as hell is gonna mess up one a them kaalerful laundry lines you folks always dragen round underneaths.

Powerful? Hell yes. I could smell it clear above the shitter Wilma uses and she’s one big woman who puts out a cloud a poop smell you can almost see.
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